(song inspiration? actually, its "the frozen world" by emilie simon.)
it was winter, yeah. but the room only got freezing when the window was open. and thats what i was doing, standing in front of the open window, hands hanging on the frozen sill, wondering whether it would be worth the mess to jump or not.
okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. i was thinking. i was thinking about something, or maybe even nothing, but it wasn't important. what's important was that i was so mindblowingly cold from sitting in front of the window for an hour in a short sleeve t-shirt that i couldn't even register valid reflexes anymore. i could feel cold, yeah, i could almost remember being upset when i got home, but the air was so clear that i wasn't thinking that way anymore.
i couldn't hear footsteps or anything at all. i was so dazed, caught up in the cold and the numbness that the sidewalk seemed like i could reach out and touch it, but i leaned to grab it and lost my grip on reality for all of two seconds before i realized for gods sakes i was about to fall-
when i felt his hands on my sides.
he whipped me back in faster than I could have imagined, swore and locked the window.
"are you crazy? do you want to get hurt?" ziprian's steel green eyes said.
"no." i stared at the empty orange medication bottle on the dresser.
he rolled his eyes, and grabbed me again, softer but still harsh- and pulled me onto his bed. his arms were abnormally warm. i didn't realize i was crying until i woke up the next morning and there were salty streaks left by the streams from the night before. it was as weird feeling, an out of body experience, when it all rushed to me- the tranquilizers, the window, falling, almost dying again- but it was indescribable. he was right there to hold me tight and he wasn't gonna let me do anything stupid again. he was my brother.
and it killed me when i woke up the next morning and saw he'd been crying for me too.
- - - - - - - - - -
(sorry about the non-capitalization, its from my blog and i never do anything with caps. <3)>
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3 comments:
Nadia...interesting story. Very despondent character. Is this part of something larger you're working on?
Actually, yeah. Its called Ziprian Fawn (original, i know @_@) and its kinda...depressing. But sorta uplifting too. If that makes sense.
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