Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Confessions of a Kleptomaniac (no, this is not true)

Ever since I could talk, I've wanted things I couldn't have. A tricycle. A scooter. A bike. A CD player. An ipod. A laptop.
When I was little, my parents could stop me. I took my little cousin's toy. He wailed. My parents spanked me. They said grabbing was wrong. Which wasn't fair. When it was naptime, they took MY toys! They were selfish, they didn't even play with the toys. They just left it in plain view, out of reach. So I concluded that getting CAUGHT grabbing was wrong. I promised myself that I would never get caught. Never.
And I wasn't. (caught, I mean) I graduated from stealing gum and candy, to beanie babies, to purses and jewelry, to expensive technology. Through my life, I've had the best clothes, gadgets, and spending money. I didn't steal from friends, only stores. And enemies.
Most of what I steal, I sell. I'm saving up for a motorcycle. I've already got a motorcycle jacket. My dad was really petite when he was twenty. He has two. A reddish-brown one and a black one. I like the brown one best. It's prettiest. And I look awful in black. Besides, the black one is too thick.
Anyway, I have enough money to buy a mercedes by now. But I'm but I'm not sixteen yet, so it doesn't make sense.
By the way, you read nothing.
Or you die.
KIDDING!

4 comments:

Sofiya said...

Hmm.This is cool.If you expanded it into a short story or even a novel,it would make a very interesting one.The character herself(I'm guessing it's a her)seems like she would be fun to follow along to.Like,I'm guessing somewhere along in the story she'd get in jail.And then,steal someone's bread from the jail cafeteria or something.

Poz said...

Like Sofiya said, this would TOTALLY make an amazing novel!!!! I really like the plot of the whole thing and I bet you could go really far with it. NICE JOB!!!!

Poz said...

so wat was ur inspiration for this story???? im just curious cuz it was kinda out there...in a good way.

Anonymous said...

only u can help urself. it's like a phsychiatric disease that need to be addressed. pray all the time-to give u strength...people like "her" needs understanding, not humiliation. pray without ceasing. (http://www.sergsikawparin.synthasite.com)