I ache. My body is one mass of pain. I cramp up. I feel as if I'm running, though I'm not, but my breath thinks I am.
My heartbeat. I can hear it. It echoes.
My eyes. Vision turns gray in the corners, spots where I can see nothing at all. The gray reaches the center. I close my eyes. They are useless.
I still can feel her hand gripping mine, can feel my feet, moving.
I'm scared. I feel like throwing up. It's an eternity, stumbling through darkness, though I know somewhere, outside of me, is light. Are my eyes closed? Does it matter? No.
My head is pounded with an invisible hammer, my mouth is dry. All sound is far away. I stumble, legs going numb, and feel myself falling .. falling .. but I never hit the ground. Until I woke, I was still falling.
4 comments:
WOW. I really like all the big words, though they made my head hurt lol. It reminds me kinda of what I felt like when I fell of a jump at Kissing Bridge.
this is great! So very descriptive and amazingly...how could i put it....amazingly amazing!!!
This is really good.I read it this morning while we were supposed to be writing.
I love the part where it goes,"My heartbeat,I can hear it.It echoes,"
It just seems like this person can sum up all of the fear in that one part in such simplicity.It's amazing.
Love the short sentences and fragments. Definitely creates a anxious mood and gives insight into the mindset of the character. Nice, short piece.
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